This Isn’t Working Out

I am giving fitness my best shot.

Or at least a shot.

Taking group classes like barre, yoga, pilates, and basically anything that doesn’t require large amounts of cardio, has been an interesting experience.

Most instructors are great motivators. Seeing the perfectly toned, tanned, pinnacle of #health, usually motivates me to stop dreaming about pasta long enough to push myself harder than my usual pace of a line at the DMV on a Saturday. Meanwhile, I show up to their class probably late, wearing 1 of my 3 workout outfits, broken water bottle in hand, and definitely wheezing if I was required to take the stairs.

My issue with fitness instructors? They think I have a MUCH better sense of self-awareness than I actually do. While facilitating the workout, I have heard some of the most ridiculous directions and I want to know if I’m the only one that looks around the room like this:

  1. *Bridge Hip Raises* “Pretend your knees are water guns. Instead of pushing your hips up, roll your knees forward”
    • Okay so how much control do you think I have over my knee caps, chick? I can bend them, or straighten them, not arm myself for a backyard pool party.
  2. “Tuck your ribcage under your chest bone”
    • I was unaware this class was geared towards members of Cirque du Solei ???
  3. “Imagine a short string is tied from your belly button to your spine”
    • Is this a horror movie and are you about to murder me? lmk
  4. “Push yourself!! Only 8 more and then you’re done!………………….with this specific set and then we’re going to do a combination of all of the moves we just did hehheheehe”
    • You are satan’s mistress and if you think I’m above screaming in public, think again.
  5. If you want to, you can modify this move to this [continues to demonstrate a move that defies all laws of physics and gravity.]
    • mmkay yeah I’ll stick to my child’s pose here, sis.
  6. Cycle instructor: *sees that I am having a near death experience on level 3* “Come on you can bring that up to level 40!”
    • Yeah, he said F-0-R-T-Y…

PHOEBE

I thank all of the wonderful instructors out there, and thoroughly apologize for my astounding lack of rhythm, coordination, balance, and overall sense of where my limbs are.

 

Slide1#lifestyle #gym #doingmybest #happytoB #fitnessinstructor #barre #yoga #pilates #cycle #fitness #help #lol

featured image credit

My Top 9 Restaurants in Knoxville

As I mentioned before in a previous post, Knoxville is simply amazing to me. One of the best parts about Knoxville is the plethora of amazing restaurants that always have you coming back for more. This list is a compilation of all of my favorite restaurants in Knoxville.

  1. Tomato Head
    • Okay, this place is a vegan’s heaven. They have SO many vegan options as well as many other meaty and cheesy options for the carnivores of the family. Whenever my parents come into town, they never miss an opportunity to go to this delicious and trendy spot.
  2. Uncorked
    • I have only been here twice but I’m determined to get back there any chance I get. I have had great service both times. The menu is always changing, but always amazing. And most importantly, their sangria menu was hand picked by the gods.
  3. Blue Coast
    • Blue Coast is a very good place to go for a good price. Sometimes their service is a little spotty because they get so busy, but it’s often worth the wait. I went here with my boyfriend for our first date, and it was here he learned that I am not a delicate eater- but hey, he stuck around, so thanks Blue Coast!
  4. Tupelo Honey
    • Tupelo Honey has made me understand the craze for biscuits in the South. They have the best biscuits I have ever had and they pair it with the most amazing blueberry jam. Their sweet potato pancakes should be in a museum somewhere-they are truly delicious.
  5. The French Market
    • The French Market was a recent find that my boyfriend and I decided to take my parents on their last morning in Knoxville the last time they visited. They specialize in crepes, and lucky for them, I specialize in eating crepes! They’re chai tea latte (with almond milk) nearly brought me to tears it was so good.
  6. Trio
    • Trio caught me a little off guard because I had never really heard anything about it, but thank the lord I decided to go there with my dad and sister after my 21st birthday. Trio had the best portobello burger I have ever had.
  7. Downtown Grill and Brewery
    • Right now this one might be my personal favorite because I am living on a college budget, and they have the best happy hour deals EVER! $3 margaritas and LITs are what dreams are made of.
  8. Mellow Mushroom
    • Not specific to Knoxville, but they have vegan pizza and calzones that could change the world. Seriously-YUM!
  9. Cocoa Moon
    • Also a secret gem of Market Square, Cocoa Moon has a great environment that makes me feel like I am in a classy NYC bar with a southern charm. I have gotten the same server every time and she is such a sweetheart; excellent service!!

Enjoy!

xo,

B

My Weekend As A Dog Sitter

imageGoing through college I understand that this is my time to figure out what I want to do with my life. To find out what I’m good at and see if I can turn a skill or interest I have into making a living for myself. This process is only made possible through trial and error.

My roommate went out of town this weekend left her dog here with me and I can firmly state without a shadow of a doubt that I am not meant to be a dog sitter. I love dogs so much and I especially love Nala but getting up at 4 am to take a dog out is not something I can do with a smile on my face. Nala is currently snuggling with me and most likely chewing on something she shouldn’t be chewing on.

So shout out to Nala for getting me one step closer to figuring out what I’m going to do with my life.

xoxo,

B

My Attempt At Running

Whether we like it or not, summer is quickly approaching. I might just be speaking for myself here, but I have taken great comfort in the fact that all of my swim suits and shorts have been tucked WAY under my bed all winter. Spring break was a very cruel reminder that I have been avoiding the gym like the plague.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not really about body image or anything like that. In all honesty, I can’t afford to buy new bathing suits or shorts, so unfortunately that means I need to get myself in gear, or my wallet will (quite literally) pay the price.

Considering it was about 73 degrees yesterday in Knoxville, I decided to start my endeavor into healthier habits. I went on a “run” (mostly a jog with a lot of walking involved). I’d like to take a moment to remind you all that I cannot remember the last time I “ran”. I played varsity field hockey in high school, so i’m really not sure what happened…

I thought it might be fun to share with you all the thoughts that were going through my head as I decided to run for the first time in a VERY long time.

  1. Its so nice out, this is a great idea. I am just so smart, I will be summer ready in no time!
  2. Okay..Alright… breathing is getting a little heavy over here.
  3. I probably should have put together a running playlist so I could’ve avoided running to the beat of “My Heart Will Go On”.
  4. Okay, I’ve been going pretty fast I can take a break.*10 minutes of walking*
  5. Oh shoot, fit people are running towards me, I better start running again so they don’t make fun of me.
  6. How do people run for fun? I think I must just be doing it wrong..actually I bet they’re all lying.
  7. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch- why are my ankles shattering beneath me.
  8. When are those endorphin things supposed to kick in? What if I don’t have any? Ugh.
  9. Turning around now…or maybe one of my roommates could come pick me up…
  10. Okay fine I guess I’m running ALL the way back.
  11. I’M NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS FIT LIFESTYLE
  12. A little bit of love handles never hurt nobody..
  13. NO. I will pull myself together and my muffin top will be GONE.
  14. …I could really go for a muffin right now.
  15. I see my house! SPRINT SPRINT SPRINT
  16. Aaaaaand that was a horrible idea, back to jogging.
  17. Almost there…dying….dead…
  18. Oh couch, how I have missed you!
  19. *eats everything in fridge*
  20. *Passes out for 3 hours*

Happy Running!

xoxo,

B

Roommates: Have to Live With ‘Em, Now I Can’t Live Without ‘Em

My junior year of college has by far been the best yet, and this is greatly attributed to my amazing roommates.

My freshman year roommate is absolutely the most amazing human who has ever walked the Earth. We didn’t know each other, but we had one mutual friend. She is originally from Chattanooga, Tennessee but she spends her summers in Rhode Island, where she met a girl who was in my graduating class at Notre Dame Preparatory School in Towson, Maryland. So once my friend realized that we were both going to UT, she immediately got us in contact-and thank the Lord she did because my Freshman year would have me exponentially less fun without her. Now Ellie lives right down the street from me, and that might be the farthest I’d ever let her go.

Sophomore year I lived in my sorority house, but halfway through the semester, my roommate decided to move out. This was very bittersweet to me. One one hand, I didn’t have a roommate which can definitely get lonely sometimes. On the other hand however, I was able to push to single beds in order to make one giant king sized bed. Once I put a mattess pad over the whole bed, it was game iver because I would be in that bed as much as life would allow me to. If a bed was made out of love, it would feel like that bed.

From dorm room to sorority house, it was time that I get a place that isn’t so..crowded. Which leads me to my wonderful roommate situation that I am currently in. All 5 of us live in a house where we all have our own bedroom and bathroom but get to share the common rooms.

So if I’ve learned anything in college, it’s how to be a good roommate. Here’s some tips to follow to make your living situation the best it can be:

  1. SHARING IS CARING- be willing to share but also know when you need to pay someone back for a banana or two.
  2. Don’t slam doors- it helps NO ONE
  3. Do not be passive aggressive- know what you want and need and ask for it.
  4. Don’t talk behind anyone’s back.
  5. Be open to change and discuss the changes that make you uncomfortable.

xoxo,

B

Things I Wish Would Come Back In Style

Trends come and go. Some we’re happy to give the boot to, and others we cling to until someone has to physically burn them. I’ve lived through 2 great decades: the 1990’s and the 2000′, but I also have a few trends that I’d like to come back from previous decades as well.

  1. Scrunchies
    • I’m seeing more and more of these recently and I am loving every bit of it.
  2. Overalls
    • Basically a denim romper-but BETTER
  3. Charm bracelets
    • How else are you going to know someone is your best friend unless they give you a charm that says so?!
  4. Long fancy gloves
    • So what if I want to be Audrey Hepburn?
  5. Moon Shoes
    • These things provided me way too much entertainment as a child.
  6. Light up sneakers
    • Yes, as a matter of fact I DO run at the speed of light, thank you very much.
  7. S Club 7, and any boy band ever
    • I need them back, and I need them back now
  8. Sidewalk chalk
    • Do I even have to make an argument?

Here is also a list of trends I wish were NEVER a thing:

  1. Tomagotchis
    • Maybe I’m bitter because mine always ran away or died, but still I could’ve done without them.
  2. Chokers
    • You can pretend they’re cool all you want, but OW.
  3. The words: fam, bae, squad, bruh, lit, & turn up
    • Get them out of here. I’m begging you.

xoxo,

B

A Nation Divided: A northern’s girl guide to the South

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I am a northern girl who ventured to the South. There were a lot of myths that I heard before I came to Tennessee from Maryland. There are also things that I wish I would have known before hand.

First of all, everyone convinced me that everyone in the South dressed up for class. This absolutely stressed me out. I went to an all girls’ Catholic school for 7 years and haven’t had to pick out my outfit before school since I was in 5th grade and light up sneakers were still in style. So, I went out and bought as many orange sundresses as I could. Little did I know, that is a big fat myth. The thing wear to class is essentially what you wore to bed the night before: a big T-shirt and shorts in the spring and fall, or absolutely anything that will keep you warm in the winter. I was MORE than okay with this myth being false.

Next, I thought that everyone in the south was unhealthily obsessed with sweet tea. Considering that I could take sweet tea through an IV, I was upset to find out that sweet tea isn’t as big of an obsession as I thought.

There were also a few myths that people of Tennessee assumed about my northern ways. I have constantly had to clarify:

  1. No I do not say “pop” instead of “soda”
  2. No, I am not cranky all of the time.
  3. No, I haven’t been raised to hate the south.
  4. Just because I live where it snows all the time, does NOT mean I like the snow.
  5. No, I have never been “muddin'”
  6. Yes, I understand I say “you guys” instead of “y’all”
  7. I also understand that I pronounce the word “ON” like “Oo-won”, so sorry.

Being from Maryland, which is kind of in the middle, I didn’t really consider myself northern or southern. If I go up to New York I might as well be from the deep south, but if I go to  Alabama, I’m about as “yankee” as you can get.

Either way, I love my northern roots, but there’s also nothing like the south.

xoxo.

B