If Only Dr. Seuss Wrote My Textbooks…

If I say “One fish, Two fish…” and you don’t immediately respond with “Red Fish, Blue fish”, that will tell me all I need to know about your character (and we probably can’t be friends).

Okay, that might be a little harsh, but I can say with complete confidence that you seriously missed out as a kid.

Personally, it was very hard to take the remote from my tiny hands and replace it with a book when I was a kid. Now, I love to read, but if it weren’t for these children’s books, I might still prefer to be glued to the TV for all of my free time.

It’s so hard to believe that these classics will probably seem old fashioned once it’s time for me to raise my own children. Fortunately/ unfortunately for the poor souls who have to call me “Mom”, they have no choice but to have these Top Picks on their book shelf.

  1. “Put me in The Zoo”

  2. “Hop on Pop”

  3. Dr. Seuss’ ABC’s

  4. “Fox in Sox’

  5. Are You My Mother?

  6. “Love You Forever”

  7. “Brown Bear, Brown Bear What DO You See?”

  8. “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”

  9. Green Eggs and Ham

  10. Romona the Pest

  11. The Mouse on the Motorcycle

I’m sure there were many more that were the building blocks of your childhood, but these are definitely my favorite. You’re very welcome for this long overdue blast from the past. Happy reading!

xoxo,

B

 

So a girl walks into a Walmart Super Store…

After a long day of class and meetings, the last thing I want to do is venture into the vast and unknown world of Walmart. However, my roommate is going through mid-semester crisis and needed hair dye in order to ease her need for change.

So, off we went.

Walmart is a land of opportunity. The opportunities you have aren’t always necessarily good ones, but they are opportunities none the less. As a walked past the mountains of products, and groceries and lawn chairs, I realized how many questions and comments were going through my head.

I have decided to compile a list of thoughts that cross most people’s mind as they venture into the unknown crevice of the earth that we call Walmart.

  1. “Aren’t the greeters supposed to look happy? This guy looks like he could eat small children for breakfast.”
  2. “I remember when they would give out those smiley face stickers. Who was the jerk that disbanded that amazing policy? I loved those stickers…’
  3. “Oh wow, only 3 dollars for a set of 5 bungie chords, what a deal! Wait a minute, no. I don’t even need those.”
  4. “Why is that child screaming?”
  5. “Sir, please invest in a belt.”
  6. “How on earth did she get her hair that big?”
  7. “Why do I ALWAYS get the cart that has a wobbly wheel?!”
  8. “All I need is a [insert basic item here], WHY CAN I NOT FIND IT?”
  9.  “10 pizzas for 10 dollars? Who on God’s green Earth needs to fill their fridge with 10 pizzas?”
  10. “How is that child STILL screaming?”
  11. “Ok, if you are going to take 7 years to pick out a deodorant, I’m going to need you to NOT block the entire aisle with your cart.”
  12. “There are approximately 32 cash registers, and 2 cashiers working…makes sense.”
  13. “Alright little girl, your mom is not getting you a candy bar- GIVE IT UP.”

Whether we’re out of Q-tips, need to stock our fridge, or furnish the patio, Walmart has our back.

…Whether we like it or not.

xoxo,

B

Bucket List

We all have those things that maybe “one day” we’ll get around to doing. I never really thought about making a bucket list, so I thought I’d give it a try. As of today, I can only think of 13 things I’d like to do before I kick the bucket (some more out-there than others), but hopefully I will be able both add, and cross off some of these things as different opportunities present themselves.

  1. Hold a baby bear
  2. Go on a backpacking trip with my best friends across Europe
  3. Walk on a tightrope at a circus and fall into the net
  4. Go on a hot air balloon ride
  5. Ride on a train
  6. Put an ornament on the giant christmas tree in NYC
  7. Learn how to sew
  8. Learn how to cook really well
  9. Actually make the recipes that I have pinned on Pinterest
  10. Be front row center of a concert to an artist or band thats not in english
  11. Ride in a gondola in Italy
  12. Basically reenact “Eat, Pray, Love”
  13. Sing karaoke at a bar

xoxo,

B

Let’s All Get Real

Swipe, double-tap, favorite, like, repeat. It’s become part of our daily routine. We are personally offended if someone doesn’t like our picture on Instagram or favorite our tweet. Self-validation and approval is no longer a want in the society we live in, it is a NEED.

The other day, I was riding on the bus and there were two girls who were having a conversation about their struggle of finding a new roommate. The conversation went something like this:

Girl 1: “Ugh, seriously, we’re going to end up having to live with some kind of weirdo.”

Girl 2: “That would be an absolute nightmare. Didn’t you say you got an email from a girl that looked relatively normal though?”

Girl 1: “Yeah I stalked her on Instagram and she only gets like maybe 80 likes on her posts.”

…I’m sorry, but is this some kind of joke?

Am I the only one whose eyebrows raised?! Somewhere on the lease agreement must say “Tenant must receive an average of 150 likes per post on Instagram or security deposit will be withheld.”

I recently came across an article on Elite Daily and Elle (link found here) and it was absolutely inspiring.

A very short synopsis of the article is that this absolutely STUNNING young girl from Australia, named  Essena O’Neill, had been paid to post Instagram posts in order to promote products like dresses and bikinis. This “Instagram Famous” model had an enormous following and was very influential considering this girl could literally wear a burlap sack and look like she was on her way to the Grammy’s.

One day Essena realized that what she was doing was, as she put it “not real”. She then re-captioned all of her previous posts and explained the behind the scenes version of this perfect photo. She disclosed how many times she had to retake the “candid” photo, how she would have eaten very little that day in order to maintain her figure, and other aspects behind the picture.

YOU GO, GIRL.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t know if I could go back through my pictures and admit how much I was sucking in, or how much thought I put into my “candid” pose just to make sure it was flattering. We all want to seem fabulously effortless while still looking like we have our life together and are as happy as a clam.

How many times do we wake up after we post a picture or tweet, and peer through barely-open eyes onto a bright, and unforgiving screen, to check to make sure we’re getting the amount of likes we deserve.

..or maybe that’s just me…awkward…

EVEN SO, I thought it was incredibly admirable for Essena to recognize, and publicly acknowledge her own need for the approval of others. I hope to follow her example and use social media as an outlet to express myself with the sole purpose of expressing myself, and my ideas, instead of seeking the approval of others.

Until next time,

xoxo,

B